If Jesus were an insurance adjuster and I were a wrecked car, He would consider me “TOTALED.” I would be like the car that was repairable but not worth the cost or the time because I would be full of complicated repairs and even then no one would be interested due to the risks associated with buying a "wreck." It reminds me of my first car which I crashed in college. I loved that car and I took very special care of it, mostly because I never wanted to be considered ungrateful for what I had. So when the question was posed to me, “Total the car or fix it?” out of my foolishness I insisted that the car be fixed. Not the best choice now that I think back about it. I wonder “What was I thinking?”
While studying Romans and Corinthians I was led to examine myself and I have been learning how distorted my conscience really is. For the last 2 weeks, every day Jesus has made me aware of yet another place my conscience needs adjusting. Sometimes I think it would be easier if Jesus would just give me a complete conscience overhaul. Rather than wonder where my conscience needs adjusting, I actually wonder where it doesn’t need adjusting. I ask Jesus, “Wouldn’t it be simpler to start with a completely new conscience rather than try to fix the wrecked one?”
Paul taught us about weak consciences and admittedly I have the "overactive" kind. My conscience convicts me of many, many things. (Go ahead and laugh those of you who knew me early in my walk.) No wonder I have often been told that I am harder on myself than Jesus. I have these unobtainable expectations for myself and often times I demand more of myself than Jesus does. And when I don’t achieve all that I expect, (notice I said "I expect", not what "Jesus expects") I punish myself and withdraw from Him feeling completely unworthy to call myself a Christian. Sounds like 2 Cor 7:10 which says, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
Thankfully, Jesus in His faithfulness, sees the intent of my heart and my actions and when asked, “Fix her or total her, she's not worth the expense?” he replies, “9My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9). And what better reply is there than Paul’s reply, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12:9-10).
No doubt, we were born wrecks with lives full of "accidents." We can be assured that the road to complete restoration is long and full of complications and trials, yet we do not lose confidence or shrink back!
Heb 10:35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37 For in just a very little while,
"He who is coming will come and will not delay.
38 But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him."
39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
Salvaged by Christ, the King of Repairs
Mandy
